A Letter to the 30-Somethings
Dear 30-Something,
No, it’s not just you. This phase of life really is intense. Your 30s are a wild ride of highs and lows, brimming with growth, change, and hard-earned wisdom.
This decade is a crash course in relationships- how to build them, maintain them, and sometimes, let them go. You may find yourself reevaluating friendships, romantic partnerships, or even professional connections. Learning who is right for you and when can be a powerful step toward creating a life that aligns with your values. It’s a time to recognize the relationships that truly support your growth and to release the ones that don’t, no matter how difficult that may be. Grieving these losses can feel heavy, but it often opens space for deeper, more meaningful connections.
It’s a time when the days can feel unending, yet the years slip by in the blink of an eye. Everyone around you seems to be in a frenzy—building careers, families, and lives—and the disparities in money, lifestyle choices, and accomplishments become glaringly obvious. It’s hard not to compare yourself or question your own path. But this contrast is also an opportunity: a moment to shift your perspective and focus on what truly matters.
There will always be someone richer, more attractive, more successful, or seemingly more "insert-whatever-you-desire" than you. But that doesn’t diminish what you already have or mean you can’t achieve those things in your own time. Dwelling on scarcity only deepens dissatisfaction and makes it harder to appreciate or build on what’s already yours. Instead, this is the time to cultivate a focused and intentional mindset. Practice gratitude, listen to your inner voice, and filter out the noise—whether from others or your own anxieties. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
As the responsibilities of life pile up, you might find yourself sandwiched between raising children and caring for aging parents—a dual role that’s both demanding and deeply emotional. Perhaps you’re navigating fertility challenges, recovering from postpartum, or adapting to other life transitions that require surrendering to what’s out of your control. Even if you’re not personally in one of these phases, the people around you likely are, creating an endless feedback loop of intense emotions and conversations.
These responsibilities often highlight one of adulthood’s most profound shifts: coming to terms with the humanity of your parents. If you haven’t already experienced this, it’s likely on the horizon. Seeing your parents as real, imperfect individuals can be both painful and transformative but it doesn’t have to come at the cost of closeness with them. In fact, it can be an act of love. By working to build a healthier relationship, you show that the bond matters enough to grow through discomfort.
Acceptance doesn’t mean agreeing with or excusing everything they have or haven’t done. It means letting go of anger or resentment because holding onto it only makes your day-to-day life harder. This shift allows you to appreciate their strengths and view them through a more compassionate lens. And it’s not a one-time realization. As you encounter new stages in your life, your understanding of your parents—and your relationship with them—will likely evolve. And that’s okay. Growth often requires revisiting and reshaping how we see the people in our lives, again and again.
It’s also a time to prioritize your mental and physical health. Breaking long-held cycles becomes essential as you confront the weight of what you can no longer ignore. Growth in this phase often brings a blend of grief and heaviness, confusion and enlightenment. Yet with every step, you inch closer to the person you’re meant to be.
For all the challenges these years bring, they’re also deeply rewarding and full of joy. The struggle is counterbalanced by the appreciation for how far you’ve come and the dreams you’ve started to realize. You gain clarity about your priorities and develop a sharp intolerance for unnecessary drama. This makes the relationships that endure all the more valuable and meaningful. You’re old enough to know better and still young enough to do better moving forward. Life’s challenges will show you that you’re stronger and more capable than you ever imagined and with each vulnerable experience, your empathy and understanding of humanity will continue to deepen.
Embrace the highs and lows as they come. This decade tests your resilience but also rewards you with moments of profound growth and clarity. You’ve got this.
With love,
Stevie